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And you and I by Sammur-amat And you and I by Sammur-amat
And you and I are but
foolish mistakes bound to
each other like H2 is to O and you are
the proof of my existence that way
the ebb and flow and I long for
you like roots for soil
and like chopped wood we are
robbed of age and
like shreds of
paper in fire we
perish in the silence
and undone seams
and nothing
remains.

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Since I've been pestering people to show me their handwriting
I think it's only fair that I expose mine :giggle:

Art and free verse poetry :heart:

Your feedback, as always,
is both highly anticipated and appreciated. :la:

COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS, ALWAYS LOVED!! THANK YOU!!:heart:
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Critique:
Is the continuous flow form too much of a distraction?
Is my drawing getting rusty?
Two-cents please?
Add a Comment:
 
:iconrandomphilosopher:
randomphilosopher Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't think the continuous flow is a distraction. I actually think it adds to it, showing the ever-rushing-on of two people in love. :heart: I don't remember any of your other drawings, so I can't say whether or not it's getting rusty.

My two cents, though I don't deserve to give them... hm... "that way/the ebb and flow we long for" ... is this supposed to be the way? The line "undone seams" confused me at first, but on second or third reading I thought I got what you were trying to say. Is it just one more image of coming undone?

I really like it, by the way. :heart: I especially love your images of H20 (but how do you make a subscript in dA?) and chopped wood robbed of age.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012   General Artist
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my work, I truly appreciate it! :hug:

Well it depends on how it is read, I meant for it to read as
you are
the proof of my existence that way
and not
the way the ebb and flow
but that's what I get for disregarding punctuation, really :giggle:
Yes it is :heart:

Thanks again for your time your very kind words. (you just type < sub> enter any text without the spaces) much like html formatting. :la:
Reply
:iconrandomphilosopher:
randomphilosopher Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha, I see having second or third reading I also copied down the line wrong. I get it now, and thanks! Also, you're welcome.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013   General Artist
It's no biggie, sweetie! :giggle:
You are super! :hug:
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012
Is the continuous flow form too much of a distraction?

Quite the contrary. The piece is all the better for it. :heart:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012   General Artist
Thank you so much for the kind comment, darling! :heart:
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012
Anytime, love. :iconlaloveplz:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012   General Artist
:iconflyingheartsplz::iconsquishhugplz::iconflyingheartsplz:
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Student Writer
This is gorgeous. The continuous flow works really, really well; gusting and gushing and out of breath. Your drawing skills are far from rusty, but I just wasn't feeling flowers while reading this. (does that make sense?) But all in all, this is beautiful. Reminds me a bit of this, which is just incredible: [link]
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012   General Artist
I'm so very glad you enjoyed the piece, precious girl! :blowkiss:
Oh yes, the flowers definitely aren't there to depict the poem's direction, that's for sure. :nod:
You are beautiful, darling! :tighthug:
Thank you for introducing me to such a stunning writer! I'll be sure to lurk around her gallery soon enough! :love:
Reply
:iconflummo:
flummo Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student Writer
:huggle:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012   General Artist
:iconlaloveplz:
Reply
:iconozzla:
ozzla Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012   Writer
The continuous flow form, whether you mean your handwriting or by no commas, I found really soothing. Or perhaps I feel like this is one of your pieces that you read aloud one time and I absolutely adored it then and still do? :D And btw, no, definitely not rusty!
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012   General Artist
No commas, thank you, imouto :heart:
I have yet to read this aloud but definitely plan to do so soon enough. :giggle:
I'm so glad you think so, darling! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconcelestialmemories:
CelestialMemories Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is so very beautiful! :)

1. The form is very beautiful and fits with the style and theme with the art in my opinion. It is free flowing yet still stable in structure--similar to things in nature.

2. Your drawing is beautiful!! :) I love how consistent your writing is as well, mine is always changing over the course of writing even one piece of literature.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012   General Artist
Awwh! :blush: Thank you kindly, dearest friend! :tighthug:

I'm so glad you approve of the flow, thank you for your feedback :heart:

You are beautiful! :love:
Actually, one thing I've always felt lucky about is how I have consistent writing and how I don't really need lines to keep my sentences aligned. :giggle:
Reply
:iconcelestialmemories:
CelestialMemories Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You are very welcome!

That's a lucky thing! My handwriting just goes all over the place, I cannot keep my sentences straight :giggle: I can hardly keep my words the same size at times.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012   General Artist
My sister is like that and I've always found that to be such an adorable trait! :heart: :heart: :heart:
Reply
:iconcelestialmemories:
CelestialMemories Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hahah! It gets really frustrating especially when you are writing on things like posters! Or cards.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012   General Artist
I could imagine XD
Reply
:iconladylincoln:
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Very sweet sentiments. :heart:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   General Artist
I'm so glad you find it so. :heart:
Thank you, wonderful woman! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
Oh! :love:
The words are just perfectly beautiful for the topic of love. I really really like the flowers! :la:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   General Artist
:love:

:tighthug:

You are just perfectly beautiful, hon, honestly. :heart:
Reply
:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
:iconaawplz: :heart:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012   General Artist
:heart: :iconrubcheeksplz: :heart:
Reply
:icondoughboycafe:
doughboycafe Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Professional Writer
1. No! It's great.

2. No, your drawing is fab fab fab!

3. I loved, LOVED this line: foolish mistakes bound to
each other like H2 is to O and you are
the proof of my existence


UH. So good. I related.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   General Artist
Nothing moves me more than knowing that something I've written was able to move another person! :love:
Thank you so very kindly, lovely lady. :tighthug:
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
lovely handwriting and poem as well.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   General Artist
Your lovely eyes are deceiving you, dolly! Thank you so much for your kind words. :huggle:
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
no,no I'm seeing it right.
you're welcome :hug:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012   General Artist
:tighthug:
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012   General Artist
:heart:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well this is just all the more charming like this. :)
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   General Artist
Thank you bunches, Ms. Rachel! :hug:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Of course, dear! :)
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012   General Artist
:heart:
Reply
:iconhfeather53:
Hfeather53 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You have gorgeous handwriting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :iconinloveplz:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   General Artist
:blush:
Thank you so much for your humbling praise, sweetie! :heart: :heart: :heart:
:glomp:
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Pretty! I need to do something like this! :)
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   General Artist
Thank you, kayla :heart:
I'd love to see that! :happybounce:
Reply
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