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November 22, 2012
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The vermilion sky melted and slipped
into a barely muddied, ruddy hillside
powdered-sugarcoated, vanilla ice-whipped

The vivacious glory-of-the-snow
sabotages the dead silence of the season
with its vehement, blue-violet glow

Know that I see the gleaming aurora in
your laugh lines, life lines
in the palms of your hands and
pads of your feet, unfurling the unsaid
The north star becomes
a cardinal bindi on your forehead
Know that I feel you are heaven-defined
prophecies pressed into my spine

You want to whisper across my tips and capillaries
breathe in sky-blue butterflies, out sea-green envy  
I want to compass through your crust and marrow
with every very ounce of streaming sanguine in me
To keep burning bridges and breaking-off roads
marooning our mauve mere of melancholy
To reclaim yourself under new wintry dawn odes
finally, fathoming the worth of the word, 'free'

The vermilion sky melted and slipped
into a half-baked, chocolate hillside
asleep in sleet, numbed and tight-lipped
:iconsammur-amat:
Title suggestions anyone? Please? :eager:

Free verse :heart:

Your feedback, as always,
is both highly anticipated and appreciated. :la:

COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS, ALWAYS LOVED!! THANK YOU!!:heart:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------


Critique:
Which line did you like the least?
Which line did you like the most?
Two-cents please?
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:iconhalcyonshores:
*halcyonshores Dec 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
If I have to sum up the (oh so many) reasons why I love this, I can, too : "unfurling the unsaid".
That alone ensnared me. I'm weird that way.

A beautiful dance of lovely visions. Brava. :heart:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
=Sammur-amat Dec 20, 2012   General Artist
No, it's that you're BEAUTIFUL this way actually. :love:
Thank you so very kindly for taking the time to read and comment on my work, dearest! :heart:
You are far too lovely! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconrandomlyinspired-21:
!randomlyinspired-21 Dec 7, 2012  Student Writer
"You want to whisper across my tips and capillaries
breathe in sky-blue butterflies, out sea-green envy
I want to compass through your crust and marrow
with every very ounce of streaming sanguine in me
To keep burning bridges and breaking-off roads
marooning our mauve mere of melancholy
To reclaim yourself under new wintry dawn odes
finally, fathoming the worth of the word, 'free' " :love:

I love the imagery of this piece! The first and last stanzas were delicious and the ones in between are astonishing! :love:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
=Sammur-amat Dec 8, 2012   General Artist
I'm so very very glad you find it so, darling! :love:
Nothing can make me happier than knowing my work was able to touch another beautiful being! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconrandomlyinspired-21:
!randomlyinspired-21 Dec 9, 2012  Student Writer
I have nothing else to say but: :hug:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
=Sammur-amat Dec 12, 2012   General Artist
:heart: :iconsquishhugplz: :heart:
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
~LightOverpowers58 Dec 5, 2012  Student Writer
"To reclaim yourself under new wintry dawn odes
finally, fathoming the worth of the word, 'free'
"

Mighty words...strengthening....a couplet that imparts the feelings of hope, joy, and perhaps budding love....beautiful piece!
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
=Sammur-amat Dec 6, 2012   General Artist
I'm so glad you find it so. :love:
Thank you so much, darling, for taking the time to read and comment on my work, I truly appreciate it! :huggle:
Reply
:iconlightoverpowers58:
~LightOverpowers58 Dec 6, 2012  Student Writer
You are welcome and don't worry, I am not sure how anyone would find this piece anything less :)
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
=Sammur-amat Dec 8, 2012   General Artist
Awwh, you are so sweet! :tighthug:
Reply
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