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                                             {the words that let go of
                                              their letters tangle and tumble
                                              in foxtrots and viennese trances
                                              to and fro

                                              and he takes hold of me}


                                              i am roses after rainfall
                                              blushing in almost-autumn air              
                                              as your forehand faintly taps
                                              upon the tender skin that wraps
                                              around my decolletage

                                              remind me of the words your perfume
                                              poisons out, out


                                             {and like strings of a violin
                                              violent and fluid
                                              so is my pulse
                                              in tremolo

                                              and he is all over me}


                                              i am squirming dew drops
                                              atop the almost-lips of lilies
                                              in solemn moments

                                              left to my unspoken madness
                                              i fall out, out
Kalimat- is Arabic for "Words"
also one of the greatest songs by the legendary
Majida Al-Roumi 
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I WOULD SUPER LOVE TO SEE COMMENTS, THANK YOU!! :eager:
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Critique:
Which line did you like the least/most?
What do you think of the formatting?
Am I making any sense to you at all?
Add a Comment:
 
:iconlady-yume:
Lady-Yume Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2014   Writer
Love, this piece is truly devine, I cannot quote you a favourite part, as I was entranced by every word - so delicate and ethereal :heart:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2014   General Artist
thank you oodles on end, kimmy love. you and your words will always hold a special place in my heart. :blowkiss:
Reply
:iconlady-yume:
Lady-Yume Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2014   Writer
My utmost pleasure, darling (:
And that feeling is mutual :heart: :hug:
Reply
:iconprimalfuryan:
primalfuryan Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Professional General Artist
:iconaparazita-r::iconsquirrelflight-77:Your artwork has been graciously featured in Titans Genuine Literature feature ,stay wonderful!Hug:iconsquirrelflight-77::iconaparazita-r:
fav.me/d7if01o
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2014   General Artist
thank you so very kindly for the honor, dear heart. :love:
Reply
:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
that second parenthesis though :heart:
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2014   General Artist
:iconaawplz:
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:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
The second part that's in parentheses is just gorgeous. :heart: :heart:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014   General Artist

ah, i'm so very pleased to know you found it so, sweetheart! :love:

thank you so much for always being an awesome friend and critic! :tighthug: 

Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2014  Student Writer
I LOVE the parenthesis. :heart:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014   General Artist
i'm so glad you do, darling! thank you! :love:
Reply
:icondrippingwords:
DrippingWords Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014  Student Writer
You're welcome! :heart:
Reply
:iconshep4life:
shep4life Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
{and like strings of a violin
                                              violent and fluid
                                              so is my pulse
                                              in tremolo

                                              and he is all over me}


Wow
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014   General Artist
:blush:!! thank you so much, kind soul! :heart:
Reply
:iconshep4life:
shep4life Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Welcome!
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
"i am roses after the rainfall"

it's so beautiful and that entire stanza rolls perfectly in my mouth
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014   General Artist

thank you so very muchly, bridget dear! :tighthug: :heart:

Reply
:iconthornyenglishrose:
ThornyEnglishRose Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm afraid I find the font uncomfortable to read, but no one else has said so, so perhaps it's my monitor or perhaps I'm just strange. As for the words, I think they are lovely - I particularly like the rose metaphor. I'm not sure the one simile, the violin strings, seems out of place where every other image is a metaphor. Either way, I do think it's a lovely image.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014   General Artist

i believe you're the second one to inform me, darling

i've edited the spacing for now and will edit the font once i find one i feel more suitable :eager:

thank you so much for the helpful critique! <3

(the violin string metaphor is meant to go in synch with the foxtrot and tango metaphor found in the first bracket) :huggle:

i really appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on my work, rosie lovely! <3

Reply
:iconrlkirkland:
rlkirkland Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Nice to see you featured on "Lit-of-the Week" :)
Be well. :sun:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2014   General Artist

ohmigosh, i only noticed it now! :blush:

thank you so much, dear sir! :heart:

Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I love this whole poem, but the comparison you use for the violin was... drop dead gorgeous... its a wonderful progression, honestly. A job well done! Bravo!
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2014   General Artist
awwh, thank you so much for you kind words, my friend! :heart:
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome. Really missed you, by the way.
Reply
:iconiyraemm:
IyraEMM Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
"so is my pulse
in tremolo" - i like this very much. 

and this
"i am roses after rainfall
blushing in almost-autumn air" - is beautiful.

really such a lovely piece :nod:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014   General Artist

thank you so very much, sweetheart! :glomp: 

i'm glad you enjoyed the read :heart:

Reply
:iconiyraemm:
IyraEMM Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
you're very welcome :tighthug: and i hope you're doing well. 
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014   General Artist
doing better than a while back at least, thank you sugar :tighthug:
Reply
:iconiyraemm:
IyraEMM Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
that's good to hear! :heart:
Reply
:iconnawkaman:
nawkaman Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2014
I can't tell you how refreshing it is to see your writing again! Fantastic, as usual.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2014   General Artist
dear friend, i cannot tell you how happy i am to hear from you as well. :thanks:
yes you are. :heart:
Reply
:iconnawkaman:
nawkaman Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014
:tighthug:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014   General Artist
:tighthug:
Reply
:iconmrcbax:
mrcbax Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Awesomeness!, great work! :D
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2014   General Artist
thank you muchly, dear soul. :huggle:
Reply
:iconmrcbax:
mrcbax Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure, hope you have a lovely evening :)
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014   General Artist
tahnk you and i wish you the same as well! (:
Reply
:iconmrcbax:
mrcbax Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:D it has been quite pleasant, thank you too!
Reply
:iconderiveanemone:
DeriveAnemone Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is so beautiful. Heart 
I keep changing my mind over which lines I like the best. I think maybe "remind me of the words your perfume/ poisons out, out".
As formatting, I love the line-breaks and the brackets, but I find the font a bit hard to read, personally.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2014   General Artist
thank you so much for both the compliment and constructive comment, darling creature! :tighthug: :heart:
Reply
:iconladylincoln:
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I have missed you and your beautiful writing, darling.

:heart:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2014   General Artist
as i have missed you and your wonderful work, dearest soul :tighthug: :heart: :heart: :heart:
Reply
:iconladylincoln:
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:iconhearthugplz:
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
THIS--

i am squirming dew drops
atop the almost-lips of lilies 
in solemn moments 
left to my unspoken madness
i fall out, out

--is absolutely GORGEOUS. :heart:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014   General Artist
thank you so much, love
it's been so long.. :heart:
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome.

Yes, it has--how have you been?
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014   General Artist
had to deal with some big life issues but
i'm alright now <3

gosh i've missed this place and 
all you beautiful faces dearly :huggle:

i hope you've been doing beautifully? :eager:
Reply
:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:huggle: I'm glad you're back.

And yes, I've been all right for the most part, thanks.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014   General Artist
:tighthug:
Reply
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January 15, 2014
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