Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconsammur-amat: More from Sammur-amat


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
August 11, 2012
File Size
2.6 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
3,742
Favourites
136 (who?)
Comments
126
×
I lace my skin up like a corset, peel back the blinds on my eyelids, and take a step forward, waking from the poppies to the
                    lightning bug glow of truth tapping on my eardrums.

In front of the mirror I stand, but what I notice is not the awkward crook of my nose or butterfly lashes. I look into the lighted mirror as if searching for answers hidden under
Ribbon-like sets of
                                    veins, arteries and nerves.

Sometimes it all flows correctly; sometimes everything becomes
     knotted up in all the wrong places.  Skin toughened by beatings brought about by the
                             harsh world
around me. Yet it is the same skin that is softened by the warm touch of friendship and family.

An under-achieving mind, wandering and corroding in my daydreams of true love, the pursuit of happiness, and hopeless wishes to save the waking world.
An overworked heart, squeezing out far too many bloodied tears; it has been
                             patched up and reworked more than any first-time quilt makers' handiwork.
An erratic soul, constantly withering and being brought back to life at the mercy of lies and truth.

It's sad when your world is nothing but fabric & when you open your eyes you're just lost in the sent-spinning moon. I'll
                          close them
                                                          for a while until the particles align and the air doesn't feel so false. I hear honesty from bones and fingernails and the hairs on my arms, I hear truth in newborn babies that bubble staccatos and legatos,
                      And so I hope that we were not made for deceit.

                                                                                 And for once I'm starting to trust myself.

We live in a cosmos where it can never be about only you and me or just you or just me:

     This erratic, chaotic, anaerobic, revolving oblate spheroid is home to even more
                                                         sand-spec existences
                                      than we could ever care to know about.

I'll live with nimbus sparse between my toes, ballads of being resonating through
                                        my ribs, and hope
                                                      grounded in the crowns of my teeth.
Written by me and the lovely :iconeggshells-and-paint::heart:

We decided to keep you guys guessing about who wrote which part :la:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



I WOULD SUPER LOVE TO SEE COMMENTS, THANK YOU!!:heart:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------


Critiques:
Which lines did you like the least?
Which lines did you like the most?
What do you think of the flow?
Was the poem too lengthy or too short or just right?
Additional comments :D
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2012-09-25
:iconcatwithwings:
CatWithWings Jul 16, 2013  Student General Artist
This is amazing. I love the imagery in the piece. :)
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Jul 19, 2013   General Artist
thank you so very much, lovely soul :heart: 
i'm glad you enjoyed the read! :thanks:
Reply
:iconeremitik:
As I read through this wonderful piece of literature, I found myself envious that I have not written anything of this caliber. It makes me want to push the boundaries of my own work.

Beautiful poem about self introspection and trying to understand not only ourselves, but how we fit into the world around us.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Oct 18, 2012   General Artist
Allow me to start off by thanking you for your lovely words and really, far too high of praise. I am absolutely humbled by you:heart:

I am so glad you were able to enjoy the read, truly nothing to me (as a writer-poet wannabee) can be more important then that fact alone! :thanks:
Reply
:iconeremitik:
You are most welcome.
I was just stating exactly what I was feeling as I read this and dont feel it was "too high of praise" at all.
Please continue the excellent work.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Oct 19, 2012   General Artist
Thank you so very much! :huggle:
Reply
:iconbeyondjen:
BeyondJen Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful imagery y'all pieced together; very unique and refreshing.

This line especially stuck out, long past the last word was read:
And so I hope that we were not made for deceit. —I just love the strength and pointedness of that among all the imagery.

Congrats on the DD! :heart:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Oct 12, 2012   General Artist
Thank you so very kindly for your lovely words, pretty person! :squee:

I am so glad to hear you've enjoyed that bit, I truly am:heart:

Thanks again, dear friend! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconbeyondjen:
BeyondJen Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Many welcomes to youuuuu, pretty poet! :hug:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Oct 12, 2012   General Artist
:heart:
Reply
Add a Comment: