Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconsammur-amat: More from Sammur-amat


Featured in Collections

ENGLISH LANGUAGE by lombregrise

Literature by AimeeRaindrop

Literature by halcyonshores


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
October 12, 2012
File Size
1.3 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
561
Favourites
32 (who?)
Comments
72
×
     Fall:

     A slip
          A decline
               A loss

          You have been all these things to me at one point or another.


     Fall,

               Did my heart
          Did my hope
     Did my home

          All this for the raking of an autumn kiss.

     You hold as much of
     God's divinity in you as does
     the Angel of Death.
     Every faltering leaf
     throughout this
     stumbling season is a
     reminder of our reckless love.
     Every cascading raindrop
     keeps record of my ruthless heart that
     stole you from her.


          You will always be my hidden rue

     Set in slumber, you remain serene
          Until the raking of our autumn kiss
               Slays me too.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconkj-illustration:
KJ-Illustration Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
• Which line did you like the least?
There's not really a line in this I didn't like, so the only thing I can truthfully add is that on my first read I stumbled a little on this part of a stanza;
"You hold as much of
God's divinity in you as does
the Angel of Death."

The "as does" part had me skip back to read the sentence again, but when I did and kinda spoke along softly out loud, it worked great :)

• Which line did you like the most?
This whole piece is amazing; hence the fact I take time to write you a critique now I can! But if I had to choose, I'd say this bit;
"Every faltering leaf throughout this stumbling season is a reminder of our reckless love." :heart:

• Was there real impact at any instance?
Oh yes, definately, especially the ending lines had me go "wow" silently in my mind (: Wonderful stuff, dearie - just wonderful :love:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013   General Artist
Kimmylove!! :tighthug:

It's been ages since I've last seen you online, I've been missing you, silly. :heart:
Thank you, truly, for taking the time to read and comment on my work, I so very much appreciate it! :heart:

You are made of magic, sweetheart! :love:
Reply
:iconkj-illustration:
KJ-Illustration Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Hey Dee-chan :heart:

You're very welcome - I always love reading your creations (:
And yes, I'm sorry about that, I'm still around, but I almost push every free minute I have into my art these days :|
You can always send me (a) note(s) if you have things you want to share with me/tell me - I'll always reply :aww:

:huggle:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013   General Artist
You are always such a sweetheart :love:

I know you've been busy but juts want you to know I've been thinking of you :heart:
Best of luck in everything you do, kimmy doll! :tighthug:

I shall, I shall! If my notes start to act all funny again, then expect a facebook message! :eager:
Reply
:iconkj-illustration:
KJ-Illustration Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thankies, sweet :heart:
Bytheby, I got (all) your messages about the contest winners! dA truly is playing up for you, isn't it? I got double messages and notes from you. I sympathise with you for the annoyance :O_o:
Anyways, I'll be reading them all and creating that feature asap!

Send me messages whenever, okay? :hug:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013   General Artist
I'm so very sorry you had to go through unnecessary spamming due to whatever it that's wrong with my notes, you're the second victim so far :saddummy:
Usually the trouble is opening the notes, although recently double noting has been another issue :facepalm:
Woohoo! :la: Thank you so very kindly kimmylove and again, so very sorry for the unintentional spamming :dummy:
I shall, I shall! :iconlaloveplz:
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Which line did you like the most?
All of the lines
Was there real impact at any instance?
This poem, as a whole, was something that I wasn't expecting at all - sharp contrast with "pretty". That's good - personally, you do really good free verse. Its so open... its so much... of a rapture, honestly speaking...
Worthwhile rhapsody, in my opinion.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012   General Artist
Oh gosh, now you're making me blush! :blush:
Thank you so very kindly for humbling words of praise, I truly appreciate this! :tighthug:
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Your welcome :)

*accepts hugs*
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012   General Artist
Awwh! Here's another one then, one the house! :glomp:
Reply
Add a Comment: