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Literature Text
Crimson to burgundy:
at your dried blood I stare.
I see dismal beauty.
Tickled by April air,
and your writ will that casts
Cursive vines in despair.
A year quickly flies past,
I drink on, verily;
I've yet to taste my last.
Flame to mahogany:
In my tub's my red slaw.
Still here. Next: good brandy.
Last night again I saw,
you shot again by wild,
she drags your smell by paw.
You had fathered her child,
leaving me with the wild.
at your dried blood I stare.
I see dismal beauty.
Tickled by April air,
and your writ will that casts
Cursive vines in despair.
A year quickly flies past,
I drink on, verily;
I've yet to taste my last.
Flame to mahogany:
In my tub's my red slaw.
Still here. Next: good brandy.
Last night again I saw,
you shot again by wild,
she drags your smell by paw.
You had fathered her child,
leaving me with the wild.
EDITED (Sorry for the flooding)
My first poem in Diciotto form, quite a fun form indeed!
A contest entry for #formfindsfunction's first contest!
I do hope this is done correctly, I would be grateful to receive feedback
Let this is also be my missed NaPoWriMo day 16 entry
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COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS, ALWAYS LOVED!!
PLEASE AND THANK YOU!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Critiques:
Which line did you like the least?
Which line did you like the most?
Was there real impact at any instance?
My first poem in Diciotto form, quite a fun form indeed!
A contest entry for #formfindsfunction's first contest!
I do hope this is done correctly, I would be grateful to receive feedback
Let this is also be my missed NaPoWriMo day 16 entry
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS, ALWAYS LOVED!!
PLEASE AND THANK YOU!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Critiques:
Which line did you like the least?
Which line did you like the most?
Was there real impact at any instance?
Comments11
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I've read it through a few times, and I still can't say I've got it. Somehow, dimly, I do seem to get it's about revenge on a former lover. Of course, the words are beautiful, but I'm unable to grasp the whole meaning.