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:iconsammur-amat: More from Sammur-amat


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August 16, 2013
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             can you hear my muted, mutant screams?
                   

      it is in a form of cry shriveling up my lungs

                  leaking foam from my parted lips and panting tongue

              drying up my eyes and making me collapse
                                   (in the coal mines of my mind, all the goddamn time)

                   
                   
             you once said that you had heard my voice

      being whispered in the evening winds
           
                        carried by the cooing doves
                                 
                  like my name was your song
                        (forever calling to lost loves)

                  until the last stretch of its infinitely looped three-minute play
                     

             i held unto false hope, every step of the way
Free verse :heart:

Title taken from a line from Fall Out Boy's
"I'm like a lawyer with the way I'm always trying to get you off"
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COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS, ALWAYS LOVED!! :eager:
PLEASE AND THANK YOU!! :love:
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Critique:
Which line/s did you like the least?
Which line/s did you like the most?
Was the poem too lengthy or too short or just right?
Additional comments :la:
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:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Oct 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
dat fallout boy song <3

me and you
setting in a honeymoon
if I woke up next to you
if I woke up next to you :)))
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Oct 4, 2013   General Artist
IKR <3 <3 <3
Reply
:iconchancerox:
chancerox Sep 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
asdfhgjkljo;kp'
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fall out boy. :heart: ______

(in the coal mines of my mind, all the goddamn time) : this is my favorite line. i love the rhyming. :) 
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Sep 22, 2013   General Artist
tahnk you so much, i am thrilled to hear that, kind soul. :heart:
Reply
:iconhypermagical:
The first FOB song I ever liked. :D 
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Sep 22, 2013   General Artist
ah, really? i'm glad to hear that. :XD:
Reply
:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Aug 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Damn, I love this.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Sep 22, 2013   General Artist
not as much as ILY though. :heart:
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Aug 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is awesome, chaotic, and just............wooo. Awesome, awesome. :heart:
Reply
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