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:iconsammur-amat: More from Sammur-amat


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Submitted on
January 20, 2013
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558 bytes
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you're too bad, too m
                    u
                    c
                    h, using my heart as your
c
r
u
t
c
h. who knew human beings could
hurt each other by the softest t
                               o
                               u
                               c
                               h, so deeply
and so very, very
m
u
c
h.
..is the best word to describe my life right now :facepalm:
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I WOULD SUPER LOVE TO SEE COMMENTS, THANK YOU!! :iconheartemote:
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Critiques:
Is the formatting over or underdone?
What do you think of the flow?
Additional comments :la:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconprettyflour:
prettyflour Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This has been Featured in my journal!


:)
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014   General Artist
thank you ever so kindly, dolly! <3
Reply
:iconivorysinkshore:
ivorysinkshore Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Student Writer
I love how the title is 'dismantled' and yet the same first words (that have letters spaced apart) are the same one (much - much). It really brings a sense of bringing the poem back together. Usually, I wouldn't like to see that in a poem, but it really works here and I like it a lot. What I also really like is how the words that are spaced out all rhyme. That adds a neat effect. I think the format really worked here because of the title. It really makes the poem appear to be dismantled, itself. 

Is it strange that this poem comes off as a sick and twisted nursery rhyme? (ah, who am I kidding - all nursery rhymes are sick and twisted). I love that effect - it really works with the subject of the poem. Something you'd tell your kids and yet they still turn out to be that way...

Is the formatting over or underdone?
It's done perfectly. It really doesn't need to be altered in any way.

What do you think of the flow? 
It's lovely. I think it goes well. 
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2013   General Artist
ahsjdghshsjdf  thank you ever so kindly, shane darling! :tighthug: :heart: :heart: :heart:
Reply
:icontoxic--sunrise:
toxic--sunrise Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013
The formatting is amazing, and really works for this. :D
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013   General Artist
Thank you so much for saying that, dolly! :heart:
I'm glad you like it! :la:
Reply
:icontoxic--sunrise:
toxic--sunrise Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013
:heart:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013   General Artist
:heart: :heart: :heart:
Reply
:iconadagiobunny:
Adagiobunny Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Student Writer
blown away by the formatting yet again!

limping words have been hurt - i hope you're doing alright. we'll get through our rough patches together, with our words. :heart:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013   General Artist
:heart: :heart: :heart:

i'm trying to do better, i really am. i truly hope so, dear friend. thank you so, so much. :huggle:
Reply
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