first relationship finale

<img class="avatar" src="a.deviantart.net/avatars/t/h/t…" alt="" title="theWrittenRevolution" />
It's interesting for me to see someone else write in an experimental style. Personally, I've tried many, many different things with whitespace, phrasing, and other experimental goodies. What's so interesting is that, when reading this, I can see why some people are amazed at how creative it is, and how others can see it as a nuisance. That being said, I'm going to give you two sides of the coin - as much as I can from either perspective; or perhaps a balance of the two.
I'll answer your questions along the way, but not necessarily in order, and not necessarily all of them. Additionally, in order to stay true to what I know, I will restrain from reading other comments and critiques until I’ve finished mine.

I apologize in advance for wordiness of this critique. It’s been a long while since I’ve done one.

First, a little intro of what I’ve learned...
When writing for an audience, it is important to think about how the audience will perceive your work. “Will they understand what I mean?” isn’t necessarily as important as “Will it be difficult for them to decode what I’m trying to say?” The trouble with writing for others is that you can understand what you wrote and what you were trying to say because you wrote it. It’s dangerous because other people aren’t you and therefore need to take in what you wrote and process its meaning for themselves. Some people are lazy about it and others aren’t.

And now for the critique...
In this poem, you’ve made excellent use of the white space: indenting, spacing, and line breaks. I love to experiment with these myself and it’s really nice to see other people do it as well; very liberating. However, in a poetic sense, I (and many others) take a look at what this adds to the work...

Honestly, at the end of reading, I wasn’t sure what the overall story was. It might be that I just woke up from an inadequate night of sleep with terrible dreams, but when I thought about it, I couldn’t recall what actually happened in the poem; just that there was a lot of formatting work. The part that tripped me up the most in terms of decoding what you said was the ending of the third stanza. “That have made you the broken being... me in to” If this was a single line, I could have read it simply, as a single sentence, but the separation of things made it difficult to understand what was going on. Paraphrasing what other people have told me, you might think you’re being clever, but you’re actually taking away from your work and reducing the overall impact.
Additionally, things like spacing apart the letters in words are cute, but somewhat pointless.
Your intention may have been to make the words seem longer, but it really doesn’t add much to the overall impact of the work. It can even make your poetry look sloppy; which is a bit harsh to say, but it’s true. The reason behind this is that the poem no longer fits together as a single work, but more as a bunch of words that you separated with an explosion.

Okay, so that was mostly negative. But I do have some positive things to say!
Experimenting with these techniques is an excellent way to improve your writing skill and I hope that negative critique doesn’t impact your choice to explore. I provided some criticism in hopes of helping you improve your style so that your work can be presentable to a larger audience.

Please, continue to experiment; by experience, I know that you’ll get better with every try. Again, you may get a lot of negative stuff in reviews, but think about it constructively and pick out the things in the reviews that will allow you to improve.